Worst mom

Ever feel like you have been a total failure to you kids. With the events of the last few months that's where I am at. I take one step forward and 10 steps back. I have failed at teaching my children many many life lessons and am not sure how to teach them now. I have spent the last few months in heartache and the last few weeks the heartache has been impounded by decisions and actions of my children. I wish I had the answers. I wish I could turn the hands of time back to change what and how I taught my children. Lately I think I was not meant to be a mom. I have messed up the responsibility of my greatest blessings.

2012

2011 was a memorable year.  It was a year full of change, blessings disappointment and the biggest heart break of my life.  Its a year I would never want to repeat.  I have 3 job changes and am about to experience another. I have had great loss this year both emotionally and physical.  I watched as my son abused drugs, went to jail was beat up, stabbed and take advantage of the people he loved the most.  I also got the most dreaded phone call a mother could ever get.

As we 2012 I have great expectations. There are many  changes that need be made.  I will start a new job eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later.  I am going to continue the journey of bettering myself, becoming healthy, fit, and the person that I would want as wife, mom, and friend. I am going to continue to find peace and acceptance of the change that happened last year, some change was my decision and many I could not prevent.  In the next year I hope to achieve the goals for myself.  I don't like to think of them as resolutions because I usually forget resolutions a couple weeks into the year

I hope for all of my friends, family and acquaintances, a happy, healthy and prosperous year.  I hope for myself accommodation, and a sense of peace.